Monday, January 5, 2009

So much for 8900

So Google Maps says that Calvary Chapel is only about 7.7 miles from where I am staying. My rear-end begs to differ--it was kind of sore when I was still more than a mile out!

I rode my bicycle all the way home this evening, just to see how well my Patmos fitness would hold up after a ... well, can't describe it as physically hard work. Taking care of children is certainly stressful, but it isn't exhausting ... yet. And I was only there for six hours, so ... Plus, I got to chill out with a great rock band called Holfast. They are awesome!

Actually, one of their songs was pumping through my head while I was riding. The beat was just what I needed to keep on pedaling. Interestingly, my legs still aren't tired. I probably only put them through a mile long run, if that.

But none of this has anything to do with evangelism!

I got two opportunities today, both at the ACE Cash Your Check at Loan Shark Rates Place on Park Blvd--not to cash a check, but to buy that bus pass I thought I was going to need...okay, apparently, I still need it... There was a young woman in front of me who was trying to get the kinks out of her neck. "Pop! Pop!"

"Ooh! That didn't sound too good," I commented.

"It sure felt good!" she smiled.

"Well, maybe the condition of your neck before that happened wasn't so good."

"I guess."

"I have a question for you."

She turned around. "Sure."

"Have you ever taken the Good Person Test?"

She looked at me quizzically. "No?"

"Okay. It's a three-question test to see if you're a good person. Ready?" She nodded. "Question number one: Have you ever told a lie?"

She laughed. "Yeah."

"Okay. [I seem to say "okay" a lot. I wonder why?] What does that make you if you tell a lie?"

"A liar."

"Okay, good. Question number two: Have you ever stolen anything?"

"Not that I remember."

"Okay, well, when I was a kid, my mom told me that I couldn't have some candy; I waited until she wasn't looking and I took it anyway: what does that make me?"

"A stealer."

"No, stealers are from Pittsburgh, try again."

I probably could have picked up from the fact that she didn't try again that she was tiring of this game. But I thought that she just forgot to respond because the teller told her about a convenience fee she didn't plan to pay. She adjusted her transaction, and I continued, 

"Question number three: Have you ever hated anyone?"


"What does it make you if you hate somebody?"

"Hmm...I don't know."

"Good answer. Most people don't know. The correct answer is a murderer," spoken most casually for effect.

Her eyes enlarged. "A murderer? Why?"

"Because the issue is not how much harm we do to the other person, it's how angry God will be because we take His air and use it to mistreat our fellowman." 

"Wow. Okay. Well, thanks!" and she almost ran out the door. I wish that I had a chance to give her the good news, too, but I am confident that the Lord will follow up. He loves her more than I do. I think her name is Alana, but I'm not sure.

So then, having no one behind me, I immediately targeted the teller. I told her of my earthly purpose for being there, then asked, "Can I ask you a question.?"


"Have you ever taken the Good Person Test?"

"The what?"

"It's a three-question test to see if you're a good person."

"Well, I might not pass it, depending on which day I take it."

"Well, this is just a general test. Ready? Question number one: Have you ever told a lie?"

"Oh, yes."

"What does that make you if you tell a lie?"

"A liar," she laughed.

"A liar, right. Question number two: Have you ever stolen anything?"

"You mean from when I was real little--" she motions with her hand, and I affirm "--then, yeah."

"So what does that make you if you steal?"

"A thief," she laughed (again!). 

"A thief, right." Now, usually, at this point I say, "...because Steelers are from Pittsburgh," but I didn't this time. I don't really know why. Yes, sometimes people look at me funny, but most people laugh, because the thought did enter their minds. "Question number three: Have you ever hated anyone?"


"And what does that make you if you hate somebody?"

"A hater." (She should have just said, "I don't know," like the smart girl.)

"No, that's the ghetto answer." She doubled over laughing. "Actually, it makes you a murderer." I explained and gave her the good news. She had not stopped smiling when I left, though it was pretty well impossible to keep laughing after being newly informed that God considers her a murderer. Good thing God loved us enough to send Jesus, or we'd all be going to Hell, and I could not, in good conscience, let anyone laugh about that.

So, those were the only two witnessing opportunities I had today. I am praying to pick up some free tracts from our church's bookstore tomorrow (there is a small stash of freebies at the counter). I like to try to get to as many people as pass me by, but we all know that that is physically impossible. Which is why I make it my goal. (Besides the fact that I'm an idiot.)

Anyway, I didn't get the teller's name, but please pray for her and Alana that they would be saved. And please take full advantage of those times you have alone with a stranger. Small talk, then God talk. Simple, really. Now, if we could just find the transition words...

Think you're a good person? Prove it at

No comments: